well pull up a bucket, flip it over and have yerself a sit

jfalaz @ 2009-05-18T23:36:00

2009-05-19T03:38:50Z

Title: Anxiety
Author: jfalaz
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth
Summary: Alex has a slight breakdown. Dun dun DUNNNNN.
Disclaimer: It's somewhat based on the panic attack Alex had on stage who knows when, but I wasn't there so I don't know what actually happened. Anyway, this is pretty much fake so. YEAH.
Dedications: Well, to anyone that's reading this. Thank ya!
Author Notes: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP. This is shameless plug time. Go to www.myspace.com/radioboxerband and listen to their music. Then go to http://polls.miaminewtimes.com/polls/mia/bestof/ and vote for Radioboxer for best band! You don't have to fill in the rest. Please, please, pleeeeeeeease! If you do, I'll write whatever the hell you want me to write. 'S the best I can do. I WILL MAKE YOU A GODDAMN CYBER CAKE. Just vote for them. (It's the band my brother's in. He's the guitarist. Santos!) Basically, I just wrote a shitty short drabble so I could put this in the author notes. I'm a genius... psych. Right, so I'm working on another fic but it won't be up for a while. Like, A WHILE. But just know that I'm actually working on something!

The moment Alex runs off stage Jack stands there, eyes wide, not knowing what to do. He has never been in a situation like this because it's always, always somewhere where it's okay for him to run after him and hold him in his arms and tell him it's okay then laugh about it when it's over because that's why Alex loves him. So Jack just smiles and waves at the crowd, trying to make the best of the situation - and he doesn't know how.

"Alex is uh, he's just throwing up!" Jack mentally slaps himself when that sentence leaves his mouth because the crowd is freaking out and they're not stopping. "Just kidding! I mean, he drank his weight in Diet Coke and then some, so he probably pissed his pants." And the crowd calms down. He signals for Matt to come out because fuck it, if he doesn't start playing a song any time soon he's going to have a panic attack himself and there's going to be a VH1 special about how All Time Low is falling apart at such a young age. Okay, maybe not, because they're not that famous.

It's two songs later and Alex is back on stage smiling and waving at the crowd, his usual charismatic self back in action. He shoots a glance at Jack and smiles slightly - a sign that he's okay. It's all Jack needs to see at the moment to keep going and not worry himself through a show. He just wants to make the kids that came out to see them happy.

After the set is over and they're running off the stage, smiles plastered on their faces, Jack grabs Alex by the arm and pulls him back. "Are you okay?" he asks in a low voice. Alex just smiles and intertwines their fingers before running off to the venue shower.

In the bus, it's just Jack and Alex because everyone else is making the best of the tour by going out with Fall Out Boy (fucking Fall Out Boy, Jack wonders how he's still alive) or any of the other bands.

"Alex, are you really okay?" Jack places a hand softly on Alex's thigh. "You really scared me."

It's hard to see Alex crying behind the long hair, but Jack can hear it and he tries not to break down. And it's hard because Alex is usually the strong one, the one that's always reassuring Jack when he thinks he can't make it because it's all too much pressure. Touring with a band like Fall Out Boy and playing for their crowds every night gets to him sometimes and he knows it gets to Alex too. So when he sees Alex crying he has no idea how to react.

"It's just. Jack, it's so fucking hard. Like, this is exactly where I wanted to be - where I wanted us to be. It's all so fast and I'm scared it's just slipping through my fingers." Alex looks up and Jack who's wide-eyed and maybe shaking just a little bit. "Jack, you know how I get. Don't be sad, you know this will go away in like, an hour at the most."

"How do expect me not to get sad? You know you're the person I look up to the most? The first person I ever fell in love with and I'm not just saying that because I love you." Jack smiles and he's surprised that he is because seriously, Alex is still crying. "I don't like to see you like this."

Alex looks down again and slumps down deeper into the couch. "I don't think I deserve this. All of it. The band, you, this ridiculous tour... the fans... even the ones that hate me for all the right or wrong reasons." His voice lowers to a whisper. "It's what I want, but I don't deserve it."

With one quick movement, Alex's chin is in Jack's hand and close to his face, staring into scared yet determined eyes. "Don't say that. Don't even think about it because you deserve it all. You deserve more than this. Even if you don't deserve me, I'm going to be here and I'm not planning on leaving any time soon. After all we've been through, you really think I'm going to leave?" he presses his lips firmly against Alex's and pulls him into a hug. "I love you, Alex. You know I do."

It's only minutes until Alex is breathing regularly in place of short, ragged breaths that come with crying. "I'm such a goddamn baby."

"No, it's a lot, I get it. I think everyone does. We all feel the same; we just have different ways of coping with it, you know?" Jack strokes Alex's hair and kisses his forehead.

Alex lifts his head. "How do you deal with it?"

Jack smiles and grabs both of Alex's hands in his. "I just think about how I'm going to spend every day with you on tour then off tour, in the studio, wherever else. You're what gets me through it, and only you. Don't tell anyone though because they might feel a little jealous."

That's the only thing Alex needed to hear because it's only a matter of minutes until his head is on Jack's chest and he's sleeping soundly. Jack knows it's not the first or the last time this will happen to Alex, because they're only going to get more famous and the media will be behind them more than ever - the fans will invade their personal lives even more and attack them for the smallest flaws, but Jack finds himself not caring. All he can think about as Alex's hands rest on his stomach is that he's perfect no matter what anyone else says.

Huzzah.

2008-09-02T01:49:58Z

S'more icons. LOL. I'm supposed to be doing homework, but my brother left the laptop with me so I'm like, "pfft... I'll do that later" eh. Stupid school. ANYHOOOOO.

33: All Time Low
11: Miscellaneous (Bryce Avary, Johnny Depp, Gabe Saporta, David Blaise, Andrew McMahon/Zac Farro/Hayley Williams, Wayne's World)
7: Mike Carden + 1 Adam T. Siska

All Time Low

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

13	14	15	16

17	18	19	20

21	22	23	24

25	26	27	28

29	30	31	32

Miscellaneous

1	2	3	4

5	6	7	8

9	10	11	12

Mike Carden + Sisky

1	2	3	4

5	6	7

Yeah, boredom. UMMM. Comment if taking and credit would be awesome. :P
Enjoy. Or don't. LOL.

Animatednesssocityful. Uh.

2008-08-20T02:18:19Z

I'm not even gonna put this under a cut 'cause its like... 8 icons. So yeah.

LOL. My first time making anything animated. o.0

Comment if taking. Credit. Blah blah. Y'know.

More icons~

2008-08-18T05:39:16Z

[1-42] All Time Low (Mostly Jack & Alex)
[43-48] The Cab
[49-51] Ryan Ross & Brendon Urie

All Time Low

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10

11 12 13 14 15

16 17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24 25

26 27 28 29 30

31 32 33 34 35

36 37 38 39 40

41 42

The Cab

43 44 45 46 47

48

Ryan Ross & Brendon Urie

49 50 51

WOOO. Comment if taking or whatever. Credit to me. YEEE. Okay. LOL. Hope you like them :)

woooo

2008-08-06T03:54:11Z

More icons, geheh. ;_;

[1-9] Dan Lipski (feat. Alex Suarez~)
[10-21] Hanna Beth (feat. Audrey Kitching)
[22-39] Hayley Williams/Paramore
[40] Kurt Cobain
[41-42] Alex Gaskarth

Dan Lipski

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9

Hanna Beth

10 11 12 13 14

15 16 17 18 19

20 21

Hayley Wiliams/Paramore

22 23 24 25 26

27 28 29 30 31

32 33 34 35 36

37 38 39

Kurt Cobain

40

Alex Gaskarth

41 42

Agaaaaain.

2008-08-03T22:21:32Z

AKFJ(QRUEFD. I deleted my last post 'cause it was confusing enough. I'm posting these again because I resized or did something to them so now you can actually use them! WOOOO.

[1-7] Andrew McMahon (feat. William Beckett)
[8-52] All Time Low (mostly from Poppin' video)
[53-92] Panic At The Disco
[93-96] Cobra Starship (feat. Dan Lipski :P)

Andrew McMahon

1 2 3 4 5

6 7

All Time Low

8 9 10 11 12

13 14 15 16 17

18 19 20 21 22

23 24 25 26 27

28 29 30 31 32

33 34 35 36 37

38 39 40 41 42

43 44 45 46 47

48 49 50 51 52

Panic At The Disco

53 54 55 56 57

58 59 60 61 62

63 64 65 66 67

68 69 70 71 72

73 74 75 76 77

83 84 85 86 87

88 89 90 91 92

Cobra Starship

93 94 95 96 97

Comments would be cool if you're using anything. So would credit. LOL. You can use them as bases if you want. Just let me know!

So, I got bored last night and this morning...

2008-07-27T19:32:53Z

And I made a bunch of icons. I dunno, they're not that great, but whatever~

[1-36] All Time Low (mostly Alex and Jack)
[37-43] The Maine (mostly John)
[44-46] The Dark Knight
[47-60] The Academy Is...(mostly William Beckett)

Also, there's a banner around there somewhere. MMYEP...

Preview:

All Time Low

1-3

4-6

7-9

10-12

13-15

16-18

19-21

22-24

25-27

28-30

31-33

34-36

The Maine

37-39

40-42

43

The Dark Knight

44-46

The Academy Is...

47-49

50-52

53-55

56-58

59-60

Banners:

I don't know why they're not the same sizes, but yeeeeaaaaaah.

Oh! Also here's a random Flapjack icon:

WOO ^_^

So yeah. Credit if you take anything, I guess. Comments would be cool, seeing as this is the first time I've ever made icons LOL.

jack and ryro make a jalex comic! feat. special guests...

2008-05-20T00:12:32Z

we got bored today, and decided to draw a comic on the back of my art portfolio. ryro drew the people, i came up with the plot (ryro expanded it jfc), and i drew the hair. heheh.

WOOOOOO. mmyep.
o
and natalia (aka: bret) drew this amaz. bret and jemaine as robots. :D lol, she put it in my desk and i lol'd so hard:

yeaaaya.
DAZ IT FO' TODAY.